SANTORUM MEETS SATAN
Republican nominee hopeful, Rick Santorum met privately in an undisclosed location with Satan himself. using a hidden microphone, the Kumquat was able to listen in on the conversation Read more »
Political | April 4, 2012
NEWT GINGRICH REVEALS ORIGIN OF HIS NAME
While many people have assumed that Newt, the ex-speaker of the house and actor in the Revenge of Chucky series, had shortened his name from Newton, research indicates quite a different story. Read more »
Political | April 3, 2012
DON “THE i-MAN” IMUS LEAVES HIS EGO TO NYU
Don Imus, nearing a century old and listed as the world’s homeliest man on the planet, has committed in his will (revealed by his attorney) to leave his giant inheritance (his ego) to NYU brain research center. Read more »
Entertainment | April 2, 2012
ANN COULTER DISCOVERED TO BE A TRANSSEXUAL
The conservative ‘say anything and write anything’ for a buck broad, appearing regularly on Sean Hannity’s show, was spotted by accident in a bathroom stall at Macy’s. It appears she is not, well, as she appears. When asked about this curious guise, her response was simply, “do you think anyone would pay attention to a tall lanky blonde boy?”
In The News | April 1, 2012
RUSH LIMBAUGH FOUND AT ALL NIGHT BROTHEL
The big mouth phony who thrives on stories written and placed in front of him was secretly photographed at Manhattan’s largest house of ill repute. When arrested, Rush said he was there to investigate, not perform. Some of his rivals thought it ironic that he was caught with prostitutes instead of as one.
In The News | March 31, 2012
Rupert Murdoch Renames FOX And Comments On Hannity/Coulter Scandal
Rupert Murdoch, one of the richest and most conservative voices in media has announced that the Fox organization will become the Wolf organization. Murdoch, in an effort to communicate his virulent nature, felt that Fox connoted far too passive an image and that Wolf better suits the goals Read more »
Business | May 30, 2009
Nordstrum To Sell Used Clothing
During these trying economic times, Nordstrom, known for its extreme service and quality offerings to consumers, has decided to bring in used clothing, including undergarments and swimwear. Read more »
Business | May 5, 2009
Ford Motor Company Admits Anti-Semitism And ‘Planned Obsolescence’
Spokesperson, Freda Addison has acknowledged that Ford does have a history of hating jews but that that’s all in the past. She did acknowledge that Henry Ford had once called Jewish businessman Harvey Flemstein, Read more »
Business | April 5, 2009
Rush Limbaugh Caught With Vicodin-Laced Coffee
Conservative talk show host, Rush Limbaugh, best known for his political diatribes against liberals (Limbaugh was, himself a liberal until he found a larger audience among conservative right wingers in 1989 following an interview with then Soviet journalist Victor Pozner and Phil Donahue) was caught drinking the pain-killer coffee by narcotics agents who raided his studio on Saturday. Read more »
Aetna Adds 50% Surcharge On Democratic Customers’ Policies
The giant insurance company released a declaration today that all policy holders who are declared democrats and hold either health or life insurance programs with Aetna would be subject to surcharges of 50%. Read more »
Business |
