When hinges creak and manthers roar, the Kumquat posts our news once more!

Take heart lovely readers, in this season of thrills and chills, your favorite (and empirically best) news source has returned from the grave…. With a vengeance!

But be warned! The horrors that await within this issue may be a little… frightening, so grab your situationship or roommate and hold them close… best not to read this one alone.

Don’t be fooled by the cheery orange hue… and if your faint of heart… best stop here lest it be the last thing you ever read.

Sincerely,

Captain Editor-Beard