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Quat on Film #2: Digger Review
Issue 88 | October 2026
This week I watched Digger, big mistake. The characters, for one, were very unrelatable. Digger Rockwell was not nearly heroic enough (despite being the protagonist) and didn’t get a single chick, nor even save the world as promised.

Boo! The Scariest Halloween Costumes of the Year Are…
Issue 88 | October 2026
Solo, group/couple costumes, and more!

Help! My Devil Costume Isn’t Coming Off
Issue 88 | October 2026
Okay, so last week this new fraternity was throwing a Halloween party, and since I have absolutely zero time these days, I had to default to the classic devil costume.

Is She Ghosting Me or Just Filming a Mr. Beast Video?
Issue 88 | October 2026
Take this quiz to determine if Beth from Hinge just got bored or if she must keep her hands on the helicopter.

From the Editor's Desk: October 2026
Issue 88 | October 2026
When hinges creak and manthers roar, the Kumquat posts our news once more!

Niche Massive Group Halloween Costume Ideas
Issue 88 | October 2026
What should me and my massive friend group do for our group halloween costume? Niche ideas only.

how I deal with post 9/11 trauma as a 19 year old republican
Issue 87 | September 2026
As a young conservative, I’m often kept up at night by traumatic childhood events.

Should I Be Rooting for Palestine or Ukraine
Issue 87 | September 2026
I will be the first to admit, I’m confused. Should I be rooting for Palestine, or Ukraine? #freeprussia #endapartheid

BREAKING: Nothing Ever Changes
Issue 87 | September 2026
Inside sources have just alerted us that despite the endless forward march of time, humanity is destined to move ceaselessly in circles.

I Have a Crush On My Physics Teacher
Issue 87 | September 2026
I have a crush on a physics professor. I try to suppress my feelings, but the way he dedicates himself to his research and his computer is really hot. What should I do?

How Do I Change Fonts On This
Issue 87 | September 2026
A little worried, this is my first Kumquat article! But, I have a great article idea: “Pete the Panther Gets Shot FR!”

Help! I'm Stuck in the 9/11 Escape Room
Issue 87 | September 2026
I couldn’t wait for the Kirkiversary Rave. I mean, a rooftop party on AF? Open-carry dress code? Sign me up! But just when I was suited up to assassinate the dance floor, my loser friends saw a Fizz ad for a one-night-only escape room and we went there instead. Big mistake.










