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Politics
Boo! The Scariest Halloween Costumes of the Year Are…
Issue 88 | October 2026
Solo, group/couple costumes, and more!
Niche Massive Group Halloween Costume Ideas
Issue 88 | October 2026
What should me and my massive friend group do for our group halloween costume? Niche ideas only.
how I deal with post 9/11 trauma as a 19 year old republican
Issue 87 | September 2026
As a young conservative, I’m often kept up at night by traumatic childhood events.
Should I Be Rooting for Palestine or Ukraine
Issue 87 | September 2026
I will be the first to admit, I’m confused. Should I be rooting for Palestine, or Ukraine? #freeprussia #endapartheid
BREAKING: Nothing Ever Changes
Issue 87 | September 2026
Inside sources have just alerted us that despite the endless forward march of time, humanity is destined to move ceaselessly in circles.
Help! I'm Stuck in the 9/11 Escape Room
Issue 87 | September 2026
I couldn’t wait for the Kirkiversary Rave. I mean, a rooftop party on AF? Open-carry dress code? Sign me up! But just when I was suited up to assassinate the dance floor, my loser friends saw a Fizz ad for a one-night-only escape room and we went there instead. Big mistake.
From the Editor's Desk: September 2026
Issue 87 | September 2026
We know that there’s a lot of 9/11 and Charlie Kirk jokes in this issue. But can you blame us?
ANNOUNCEMENT: Chapman’s New Club Policy
Issue 86 | August 2026
You can organize or whatever all you want as long as you do it away from where people (tour groups) can see or hear you.
I'm a Pedophile, and I Love it Here!
Issue 83 | May 2026
As a little kid, I always had a profound attraction to other little kids. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized this was actually a bad thing!
From the K to the Kremlim: New Parlow-Funded Russian Internship
Issue 83 | May 2026
After careful analysis of current political mishaps in our former Cold War Enemy, Parlow has redirected the Struppa Nobu Budget (100 million Russian Rubles) to install The Summer Kremlin Internship Program.
The Truth About "Meet the Heroes"
Issue 82 | April 2026
Read more to find out.
I Am in Wilkinson and I Am Apolitical
Issue 81 | March 2026
I’ve tried to hide it for years, but now that I’m a senior, I feel that it’s only right to confess.