From the K to the Kremlim: New Parlow-Funded Russian Internship

After careful analysis of current political mishaps in our former Cold War Enemy, Parlow has redirected the Struppa Nobu Budget (100 million Russian Rubles) to install The Summer Kremlin Internship Program. This experience has been designed for our best D-list celebrity students to learn all the crucial steps to become the next billionaire oil oligarch. They'll start off as the most crucial Kremlin entry level role, an assistant to the executive assistant of an officer of the Federal Protection Service (FPS). These "Putin Pooper Scoopers" are responsible for collecting his excrement in a dedicated briefcase, to prevent world leaders from finding out information about his personal health (not satire, please look it up). Students get to stay in the Kremlin Bunks through the unbearably hot Russian summer, training to be the perfect collector and transporter of Putin's precious poopoo DNA. This program will kickstart this summer, perfect for all of the failed Disney Internship applicants. Our Kum reporters got the chance to speak to one of Parlow's sexy office "assistants", Carla Creamer, who was flown in directly from Tel Aviv's Red Light District. She proudly supported the program, exclaiming, "This incredible opportunity is perfect for those looking for an introduction to Parlows favorite hobbies: embezzlement of government funds, genocide, war, and class divide!".