How to Make Your Roommate Dress and Act Like Your Childhood Friend Who Died
Issue 82 | April 2026
- Don’t Mention the Dead Friend: Your roommate probably won’t want to dress like Ryan, so just tell him it’ll be “cool” if he started wearing old Terraria t-shirts with blood and tire tracks on it.
- Start Calling Him by Your Dead Friend’s Name: Make this casual, not name tags or anything, but just be like “Yo Ryan, pass the ketchup, also I miss you and when you died my childhood died with it. We were just boys. We were just boys.” and stuff like that.
- Honesty is the Best Policy: Sike! If you believed this was a step three, sorry but you’re a chump. Step three is sedate your roommate (like nap time! remember that!) and dress them up however you want. YAY! New Ryan!
