How to Stay Motivated Until Winter Break

We know that burnout can hit hard after midterms, so we wanted to offer some tips to help you stay energized until the semester ends. Here's tried and true advice from Kumquat writers:

1. Bet it all on black
2. Re-download Hinge and set your max age to 55
3. Blindly follow the advice of your academic advisor
4. Stop smoking cold turkey
5. Start smoking cold turkey
6. Ask out your TA, she likes you back for sure.
7. Become obsessed with the idea of defeating death. Steal corpses from the streets and give them new life, but discover something is terribly wrong. You've created an abomination, a monster. You must destroy what you have done before it's too late. You must burn your home to the ground before this creature can enact any more violence. You should never have played god, you fool.
8. Try a new coffee place!