Man, what the hell. Remember when we were here to learn stuff? After countless semesters of GPT-ing my Intro to Gender and Sexuality discussion posts and chiefing the cart for every FTV class, I’ve had enough.

I don’t remember much, but you know what I do remember? Professor Wooddrick’s Philosophy of Anime first-year foundations class. Did you know that “anime” is short for “animation” in Japan? And “animation” is the “medium” through which “images” “move” on a “screen”!! Isn’t that fucking insane???

I miss the good old days, before my friend Devon told me that I “look like I’d be a cool coke guy” and the light started to drain from my sunken junkie eyes. I want to go back to my goat Wooddrick and hear more about how you have to draw like 24 different things to make a thing move in a movie and how Naruto’s a cryptofascist.

But alas, age has crept up on me. My seventh year at Chapman, wasted, and I’m probably not gonna make it to my eighth. Heed my warnings, youngsters. If I could go back and do it all again… I’d have spent so much more of it watching what they call “japanimation” and “jerking off.”