All Humanities Merged into Chapman's School of Trivia

In an act supposedly meant to help students enter the workforce, Daniele Struppa mandated yesterday that all "superfluous" BA and MA majors be merged under Chapman's new School of Trivia. Effective immediately, students pursuing degrees in disciplines such as political science and dance will have to choose between a degree in Trivia Writing or Trivia Guessing, the only two majors taught at the new college. Several students are disgruntled by the move. "I was hoping to be a diplomat one day," laments Joseph Takahashi, MA in Trivia Guessing. "Now its a week before graduation and I'm applying for fucking pub trivia teams. Not even as an MC." Members of faculty and admin, however, are largely in favor. "This solves our film studies problem!" says Stephen Galloway, Dean of Dodge College. "Now we can invest resources in film production, whose talentless hacks are at least productive!" Furthermore, concerns of limited capacity has led Dean of Students Jerry Price to announce earlier today the cancellation of this Saturday's School of Trivia degree ceremony. Degrees will be available for pickup in Norma Bouchard's office if you can answer her three riddles.