Chapman Encampment? Extended Family Weighs In!

With SJP continuing their encampment, one group is at last voicing their opinion: your extended family. The Kumquat surveyed its readers for unprompted texts from parents and kin concerned for their little protestors. One father's message reads: "Now is not a good time to get arrested." The student's mother was more understanding: "It's your finals week honey, don't you need to study for your peace studies final? Or is this applicable to that?" Others expressed confusion. "Is Palestine a residence hall?" one uncle texted. With other universities canceling their graduation ceremonies, some are concerned Chapman will do the same. "Will this affect commencement?" asked one worried father, "Your grandma is really excited to see Bill Hader. Meanwhile, this aunt adopted a solution-oriented mindset: "By all means, USC should have let that girl speak, and just put a trap door under her in case she said something wrong!" Amid the concern, Chapman has made everyone reorder their commencement tickets, thwarting insurrectionists by inflicting on them a minor inconvenience. Parents can rest easy knowing the school is prepared for the worst-case scenario of students continuing to sit peacefully in one place