From the Editor's Desk: April 2024

Hello, tiny subjects,

It is a great day for the Kumquat—MY Kumquat. "Madame Editor" and "Kummy" put up some resistance when I took the throne, but they ultimately fell to my tyrannical reign, and, come May, they will have surrendered fully by "graduating" and "getting real jobs."

Am I happy? Of course! Why wouldn't I be? Do I not look happy? I have everything I could have wanted! I have total, complete control of the Kumquat now! It's not like... this much control is a terrifying responsibility or anything. Or, like... that I ever needed to hear alternative opinions and constructive criticism and all that. Or as if those two editors, like, mentored me since I was a freshman... and, like, I'm incredibly sad that they are leaving forever. Because that would be ridiculous, right?

Right! Because, if modern politics teaches me anything, it's that leaders need to be strong, stubborn, and lose all semblance of empathy. So, yes, it IS a great day for the Kumquat! And if I decide hire another editor, it's completely, like, coincidental. Because I'm doing great!

Tyrannically yours,

Tyrant Editor