From the Desk of the Freshmen - wtf is going on?

I know, I know, 'this year's been crazy', 'we live in trying times' but can the freshmen get some attention right now? It's been rough. I've gotten used to the way things go here, but it's fucking weird. Meeting people by like, finding them on instagram, sending them a DM, not recognizing them when you meet for coffee, sitting outside Philz for like ten minutes, ten feet away from each other until you realize it's them? And then they kinda suck and you hate them but you don't wanna be mean so you schedule another coffee? What else are you gonna do? They're one of the 4 people you know.

Also none of us know how to get anywhere. We can pretend we know what's going on, but the minute someone mentions a building or location it's over. One accidentally told a family touring campus that I had philosophy class in Bruxie's because I don't know where fucking Argyros Forum is. We also haven't gotten any of the classic freshman experiences like O week which, by the way, what the fuck is that? All the upperclassmen are so horny for this thing for no reason. One of the kumquat editors literally jizzed his pants when we talked about O week in a pitch meeting. Like, it cannot have been that cool.

Anyways, if you're an upperclassman reading this I'm so sorry, I didn't mean any of it. O week is so good and cool and fun, and you're so pretty and not a complete loser for idealizing one week that happened four years ago.