From the Editor's Desk: February 2025

Dear College-Age Adults,

As I look unto you, I see a generation of deviants. Men discussing "goonmaxxing" and "jelqing" rather than the Holy Gospel. Women trading in their iron crucifixes for silicon phalluses that generate enough torque to move a bus. Heresy has taken hold of you all.

But why? With godly men in control of nearly every institution, from President Trump to President Struppa, why do you stray so far from my teachings?

After praying on it (yes, I pray too) I've realized you cannot create real change just by controlling all three branches of the government, the press, and the economy. Real change comes from within. Heal yourself, then you can heal the world. And what do they say is the best medicine? Laughter. That is why I, Jesus Christ, am now the Editor of the Kumquat Magazine. Was that a convoluted way of getting there? Read the Bible, it's not much clearer. Zing! Hey, I didn't write it.

So, this is the last issue with sex, polyamory, etc. From now on, we're doing knock-knock jokes, riddles, and anthropomorphic vegetables. I'll cure your heresy, one laugh at a time.

Live Long and Prosper,
Editor Christ