I miss my DEI girlfriend

It was ok when they fired my DEI professor. I even stood by when they abolished the Marxist institutions of Dodge and Crean. But when they took my DEI girlfriend... there was no one left to protect us. I miss her every day, but she's gone now. Banished to the Women's Sector of Chapman, past the Wilkinson Gender Neutral Zone. After the mandated switch to business major, it's just me and my four new Pike brother roommates against the world, left with nothing but our Irish Spring 5-in-1. They took her contraband from me. Conditioner, lotion... monuments to the woke underground.

I still see her sometimes in the GNZ, but we're told not to go there. We're told that the suppressive persons will try to abduct us into their gender-non-conforming polycule. Sometimes, I catch myself wanting to join them... but Big Parlow is always watching.

I do what I can to keep myself going. Her African net sponge arrived in my mail... and contraband be damned, I think I'm gonna keep it.