I'm Beginning to Think This Isn't a Frat

Making friends at Chapman is easier said than done (most things are once you get the hang of talking). I tried rushing the frats here, but they all said “no” and “please… stop crying”. Strapped for friends, I decided to fly home, but in John Wayne Airport, I found a frat that was really, really excited to have me: Delta Frequent Flyers.

My new frat is awesome! There are chapters everywhere, mainly airports. We throw the craziest parties, and only the people with the most air miles are invited (if you don’t know what Delta Airmiles are, it’s basically our currency (10,000 Airmiles = 10,000 dollars (or 10,000 euros for my European crowd))).

But I can’t help but think that this isn’t a frat. For one, the average age of people in DFF is sixty. For two, I never see members on campus. Well actually that’s not true, I saw one but they got arrested for public urination (Toby, you idiot, there’s a bathroom in the club!). So I’ve decided to leave Delta Frequent Flyers and try to make friends here. This summer, I worked as a tutor for dumber-than-normal third graders, so I feel ready to make friends at Chapman. Goodbye :)