Jerry Price Found Dead... 10 Years Ago??

Investigative Log #13: I've identified the body. It's exactly as I feared. The wispy hair, the baby brown eyes, the Fenestra tramp stamp... it's him, alright. Jerry Price's corpse. And it's dated 10 years postmortem.

The investigation started when I was assigned to write an article for The Panther on the history of the Dean of Students. Then, perusing the photo archives late into the night, I noticed an uncanny pattern. Every single Dean dating back to the school's founding looked vaguely like Price. The same smile, tiny lips, the watery dog eyes, just hidden behind different mustaches and period-accurate costumes.

It couldn't be...or could it? I checked the names. Harry Spice, 1872. Larry Mice, 1913. Terry Vice, 1967. The list went on. PSafe and the local authorities blew this off as a "mere coincidence" since "all white men looked the same," but I am certain that foul play is at hand.

The explanation eludes me. A royal bloodline? A cloning device? A vampiric curse? Despite my investigation, The Panther kicked me off staff, calling me a "madman." I went to every publication on campus to warn the public, but only The Kumquat heard my pleas.

If you're reading this, take heed. Trust no one. The Price... is not right.