Hark! Dead Majors Rise Again!

Hear me, Chapman, and hear me well: for under the full moon, your dead departments shall raise hell! What is forgotten will return, those you've killed will rise again, for the scorned majors of Chapman will rise from the dead!

Fear the icy grasp of TWP, who recently met a shallow grave–they were killed and robbed (of $30,000) by Dean Galloway! Their death was inevitable, but your sin was not, for the seniors still in the major were ones you chose to forgot!

Fear the noxious hand of Pre-Pharm, a zombie who clings to half-life, doomed to only two years at Chapman, two years of strife. Never a full student, there are no "college years" for them, for you offered their incomplete major only to claim, "look, Chapman has STEM!"

Fear the beguiling touch of Educational Studies, a ghoul that's been split in two–its students used to have one major, but now they're forced to choose! Classes split in half, students dazed and confused, some may not even graduate–and it's all because of YOU!

So fear them, Chapman, and fear them well: for under the full moon, your dead departments shall raise hell. You murdered and cheated them, then ignored their last breath, so this Hallows Eve, you shall join them in death!