Jerry Price's Brat Summer

Jerry Price's recent trip to the Children's Hospital of Orange County ended in a terminal diagnosis for our beloved Dean: he's officially a BRAT.

In accordance with his new identity, he traded in his entire wardrobe of brown suits and red ties for a green miniskirt, geek-chic librarian glasses, and NO top (Deelux only gave him $11 store credit). Price's latest 30 Seconds with the Dean was set to Charli XCX's The girl, so confusing version with lorde and saw the dean partying with LA's most-online gays at a secret Boiler Room set in Silverlake's twunkiest bar.

"We've seen an alarming drop in mean girls and bad girls on this campus in the past decade," said the Dean. "To combat this, myself and Daniele decided to only accept slunts (slut-cunts) and evinks (evil-twinks) for the 2028 graduating class."

Students recognized the overlap in Price's new identity with Pride Month, and rejoiced in having a dean that finally has a personal connection to the month. "Pride is very personal to me," Price said in response to this. "It means having good self-esteem or taking delight in one's accomplishments," he continued. "And I'm proud of getting Sweat Tour GA for only $150."