LUMIÈRE BROTHERS MASTERCLASS ANGERS DODGE INSTITUTE OF PHOTOGRAPHY AND PHONOGRAPHIC ARTS

Hark! The Chapman Spring of 1901 semester hath forsooth brought upon our university the inventors of the so-called "moving picture." And no – this is not some foolish tall tale!

"Their spectacle of gimmick doth not entertain mineself," said one photographic studies major. "Their pictures claim to 'move,' yet how can one appreciate art if it's moving before them? Verily, how frivolous a venture!"

"By jove, could they not at least get Edison or someone of true talent? I tire of this French slop," said a creation of moving pictures major.

But fret not, for as their "film" The Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat was pre-screened for the Lumière masterclass, doubts were assuaged indeed, forsooth. The Folino auditorium was forsooth stunned as a train ran straight into the audience — but forsooth, merely an illusion! A black magick mirage!

"I forsooth shat myself," I murmured, finding myself not in fact run over by a locomotive.

Perhaps we need not dismiss the advent of the moving pictures. Perhaps the truest art is that which makes us shit ourselves. If given the chance, embark for your local nickelodeon forthwith!