New "Roman Life" Frat Seeks to Combine all Greek Organizations into Glorious Empire

As Beta Theta Pi announces its surrender this Tuesday, it's yet another victory for Roma Alpha Roma, the brand new "Roman Life" fraternity whose mission statement is to "conquer all that the sun touches".

To discuss the motive for this conquest, we sat down with Alpha Roma founder, Alex "The Great" Fischer.

"Without the Empire, our parties were divided between 18 Greek Organizations; our ragers diluted into tiny, worthless kickbacks," says Alex, "but combined, our legion will have the power to throw monumental socials and to overturn any sexual harassment lawsuit!"

In addition to these "baccian socials," Alpha Roma also plans to hold drinking tournaments and pledge-based gladiatorial combat in the newly rebuilt "Wilson Colosseum."

Due to this and a shared love for patriarchal tyranny, most have fused with Alpha Roma willingly. And those who have resisted, such as "Adelphos" and "DKA" don't have long before they are taken by force.

As Alex put it before blacking out, "Pledges will die and purple ties shall tear."