Pralle Black Mold Warms Hearts (and Lungs)

Reports from all over Pralle are coming back positive for mold... and we couldn't be prouder! Despite their upsetting appearances, ear-shattering coughs and disturbing wheezes, our stellar Prall-inators are STILL making it to class on time AND turning in all of their homework. Way to go guys! Although these students are "dying" from the spores in their lungs, we are just "dying" to see what great things these panthers go on to do. Even President Struppa agrees: "These Pralle students deserve to be somewhere they can get a proper education," he states, "and that place is here, no matter how sick this school makes them."

All other students really should take a page out of their books, because while these symbols of Panther Pride may be infecting other students with mold poisoning, they are also infecting them with their positive outlooks on life! Keep up the great work, Pralle fun-guys. We love you.

(Chapman would like to note that affected students do not qualify for disability.)