Quat on Film #1: Summer 26 Flicks

QuatOnFilm

I’m Marty Keys, Kumquat review guy. This summer, I gave up an internship in exchange for raw, hands-on, movie-watching experience. If you missed these summer flicks, don't watch them, I’ll catch you up to speed:

SpiderMan: Brand New Deal:

Kinddd of a flop more than a swing. Spiderman kept getting beat up which was really terrible writing. I’ve made many superhero characters which are way stronger. Next!

6/10 SpiderMen

Obsessive:

I’m obsessed with this! At first I had no clue what this cautionary tale was about. But one reddit-rabbit-hole and three podcasts later, I see the film's message clearly: the danger of genies.

8/10 Magic Lamps

The Odyssey:

Oughta-skip this one. More woke garbage from Disney. I’ve cared a lot about historical accuracy for about 2 weeks and this was nothing like Hercules nor Zack Snyder's 300.

1/10 Cyclops Eyes, I notice these things

One Night Only:

Ok. So sex is banned ALL YEAR? Boo-hoo. Story of my life as a film-school sucka! I get no respect! No respect!

7/10 Truth-bombs!

The Backrooms

This was horrifying. I quit my job search shortly after. Monsters can be in stores, a hard pill to swallow for the complacent movie-goer.

10/10 Rooms, there’s probably more

Toy Story 5: Un-Plugged

Sends a deadly message to kids that it’s good to be off-the-grid. You’re not better than me just cause you don't have instagram. Do you think you’re better than me?

5/10 Toy Stories

Minions VS Monsters:

This made me slap my belly and laugh. I love Minions beboi.

10/10 All Funny Moments.