ResLife Fails To Address Uptick In Spiders, Ghouls, Etc.

Wow. Just wow. My parents pay 80k for this school, but every October, it's like I can't leave my dorm without running into a cackling witch or huge spider. I can get behind the occasional dorm roach or Pralle bees, but is no one gonna clean these webs? Disgusting.

You'd think RA's would prioritize safety, but yesterday I saw... a talking skeleton. Its eyes turned red when I walked past, and he had the nerve to make some morbid joke about his "funny-bone." This is no laughing matter; many of my peers agree skeletons should stay dead! Riddle me this, ResLife. I can't have candles but you're okay with a "Jack-of-Lantern" on MY doorstep! Boy, I've seen pumpkins, and they do NOT have faces!

Bats on the loose? Caution tape on doors? You people make me sick!

I consider myself a tolerant person who can coexist with most residents, but we gotta draw the line somewhere. What's next? Monsters knocking on my door? This is not who we are as a university. This is not my Chapman Capiche?