The Next Abraham Lincoln? Broke Roommates Share One Mattress

"We never set out to walk in sexually ambiguous former president Abraham Lincoln's possibly high-heeled footsteps," said roommate Graham Collins, one of 2 roommates living in a shitty one-bed one-bath apartment. "Rent and utilities were fucking us harder than Joshua Fry Speed must have been fucking Abraham Lincoln, and we needed to save money somewhere."

While these circumstances seem ripe for romance, the buddies assured us that, unlike our 16th president, their relationship is fully platonic. "No, I've never thought of Graham in that way," said roommate Peter Howard. "I'm not gay like President Abraham Lincoln, who wasn't just getting back shots from John Wilkes Booth." He later commented: "The only time I get that close to Graham is when we spoon for warmth or when we wrestle, much like wrestling champion Abraham Lincoln did with his roommate, Joshua Fry Speed. It makes us tougher men...and much better presidential candidates."

The dynamic duo refused to comment on the matching Abraham Lincoln costumes citing them as "work related" and ended the interview shortly after leaving the rest of this story and "Not so" Honest Abe's sexuality up to speculation.