Things Your Orientation Leader Wants to Say to You but Can't

I'm doing this all of this for free

Healthy Panther is useless because it's actually fucking hard to have sex in the dorms

When I ask everybody if they need a break during our fenestra forum I'm not doing it for you guys.....I'm doing it so i can sneak off into the bathroom and hit my pen

We were told we'd get expelled if we're not cheering and yelling everytime we walk past a freshman

I'm receiving no financial compensation for my role

During orientation training we all had to make out with the guy in the pete the panther costume in front of everyone (I used tongue)

I'm going to forget your name once this week is over so if I avoid eye contact during the school year I'm saving both of us the embarrassment

Chapman gave every OL a shit ton of adderall to hide in their fanny pack

I'm not doing this because I want to help you adjust to chapman. I'm only doing this to see who here has a hot dad on move-in day

No I'm not getting paid