10 Kummandments

Hey guys. Editor Christ here. I'm going to be nailed to a cross soon, but before I go, I thought I should impart some wisdom on y'all. Yes, I know my dad was the commandment guy. But these are my Kummandments. Follow these, and you'll soon find yourself on a cross, too, with your own crown of thorns (graduation cap).

1. Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around every once in a while, you could miss it.
2. Don't steal, kill, use ChatGPT for your homework, etc.
3. Take Sex, Self, and Society, even if you're the only boy in a class full of girls and you get made fun of for it.
4. We are headed toward a complete detachment from the virtual realm. Ground yourself in the material world, or you will be lost.
5. Value your own judgment more than the judgment of others.
6. If you ever agree to a rap battle, make sure someone is recording.
7. If you are racist and agree to a rap battle, make sure no one is recording.
8. Don't let an algorithm tell you when to jerk off.
9. Listen to Beach House when you are sad and don't know why.
10. Gooning is self-love.