A Campus Divided? Chapman Berlin Wall Acquisitions Gone Awry

Chapman has recently become the university with the most Berlin Wall following their recent Berlin Wall expansion. The move was originally intended to "enrich German culture on campus" and increase Chapman's relevance, but has accidentally segregated Chapman into East and West. Even though some students have fallen into disarray, Chapman is willing to see where these giant "living-learning communities" lead.

"Personally, I'm glad to be separated from those Dodge freaks," says Sophomore Monae Baggs, resident of the Beckman West side, "us business kids, law students, and Schmidsters never needed those betas anyways–us hustlers are better on our own." The Beckman West side is expected to devolve into its own anarcho-capitalist state by Friday.

East Chapman, composed of the humanities and Dodge kids, is using this separation to their advantage. "Sure, we have to ration DMAC snacks for sustenance, but who cares? Our documentary about the Chapman Wall is going to Sundance" remarked East Chapman Junior Amy Slate.

Chapman recognizes this division, but refuses to let the wall fall because finally being #1 at something feels good. West Chapman is projected to crumble to the East Chapman revolution in the coming months.