Caf Secret Menu
Issue 60 | February 2024
Due to the sheer amount of food waste at Randall Dining Commons, it's obvious there's a demand for even more fun grub to toss out. Lucky for you, students have discovered a "secret menu" featuring all new caf treats fit for the landfill!
"Burger Station on Strike"
Bun with cheese.
"Cooked Chicken" With cilantro
"Digester Ball"
Reduce, Reuse, Really tasty! Thanks to Randall's new food waste digester, The Caf's got loads of gray, enzyme-rich dollops of flavor, hot to go.
"Chappy Meal"
Digester Ball with a toy.
"Nutloaf"
"All Nighter" Vodka Penne
Saturday morning special. Sauce sourced from Jim Miller puddles.
"The Dirty Henley"
Po' Boy with an extra scoop of Digester Ball.
"Petey Treat"
They minced him. Budget cuts.
"Filet O' Fenestra"
This one's a surprise.
