Chapman Builds "Gay Campus" Despite Campus-Wide Outrage

Last Monday, the Chapman administration sent an announcement to the student body that looked a little... different. There was something a little.... colorful about it. The email looked a little.... gay. The email declared that "in observance of Pride, and to pacify all you libs, we've invested $10 million into "yassifying" the campus for the month of June." You wanted a gay campus? Well how about Lesbo-by Library? They/Them Forum? Ace-tallah Piazza? Transgender Studios? That's right, glittering, neon signs will proclaim every building as officially gay. (And for bisexuals—you get a $5 Panther Buck voucher).

Most people were confused about the gesture. "I'm still on the waitlist for therapy because I'm really nervous to come out to my parents," said one gay student, Shandon Obergon. "And now on top of it, I have no idea where my dorm is anymore. Do you know where Nonbinary Hall is?"

Orange residents were furious upon finding out these changes extended to the surrounding area, protesting in the intersection of Palm Beach and Gaysell outside Bruxie. "First they gentrified us, now they're gay gentrifying us!?" said a local resident.

What do you think? Was this a good use of your tuition? Or is this diva (Chapman University) down (gay)?