Cyclist Bikes as if I'm Not Watching Family Guy in Lane Next to Him

At 3:30 PM last Thursday, Jonathan Kim finished loading up his 2020 Jeep Wrangler to prepare for his Los Angeles trek from the Culver City Erewhon to The Grove Erewhon (there was a DL trade on grid at different Erewhons). He adjusted his mirrors, started the engine, and pulled up Family Guy Season 8, Episode 7 "Brian Writes a Bestseller," before turning onto Santa Monica Boulevard.

Simultaneously, the LA American Cancer Society Bike-A-Thon recklessly merged into the designated bike lane— allegedly "raising money" for their "beloved family members" to "find a cure."

"They came out of nowhere," Kim said. "Stewie had just convinced Brian to write a self-help book when BAM! A cyclist or six rammed into my car as I crossed several lanes at once."

These vile riders quickly piled up around Kim's hood, damaging the finish and causing Kim's phone to slide out of both of his hands, forcibly stopping the episode right as Brian guest-starred on The Real Time with Bill Maher.

Readers will be happy to know that despite the mishap, Kim eventually was able to finish the episode—and his drive—after EMTs declared the entire cycling group dead. Readers can also sleep easy tonight knowing these selfish cyclers got their comeuppance after all, as the cure for cancer remains at large.