Fierce! Dodge and Wilkinson Students Fight for Gayest College

Watch out for glitter! This past weekend, Dodge and Wilkinson students took to the streets to brawl for the gayest college on campus. Who started it? You guessed it– the gayest of them all: the cine boys. With their keys dangling, women's pants cinched tight, and turquoise American Spirits ablaze, they strutted right at the creative writing majors, blowing a big cloud of smoke in their faces.

When the "haze" cleared (cine reference), in sashayed the LGBTQ+ studies minors, who promptly bitch slapped the PR & Ad majors, who, confused, replied: "We didn't even realize we were in Dodge!" and left the fight to make a Canva presentation about some bullshit. Then came the directors, who kicked shit out of some poli-sci majors with their twelve inch heel Steve Madden boots. It was chaos: peace studies majors cried for all the bloodshed and scuffed boots, and the acting majors attempted (unsuccessfully) to put on a strong face.

Then, the producers and the sociology majors came to the middle and 'kiki-ed.' "We shouldn't fight," they agreed, "We're all gay as hell!" So, from that day forward, the war was over. Both colleges recognized the other, hand-in-hand, as their gay brothers, sisters, and siblings.