From the Editor's Desk: April 2025

Dear Struppa,

It's me again. Tyrant Editor. Look, I know you said you needed space. But I... I needed to try one more time. You haven't been picking up your calls, and my texts haven't been going through... so I'll ask you through this Editor's letter. I don't care if the whole world sees, dammit! I just need to ask you one more time:

Please stay.

Please. Please, Dani. I don't know how to make it right, but you were the only thing I had here. It's hard for a tyrannical megalomaniac like me to find people who are truly similar, and aren't just pesky liberal dissidents (half the school) or my thuggish henchmen (the other half of the school). Fellow evil masterminds are only one-in-a-million.

You were my one-on-a-million, Dani. Think of all the fence-sitting we did while giving money to children-bombing factories! Think of all the students we failed to protect! Of the voice we chose to silence when it mattered most! Remember that time you showed me Birth of a Nation?

You were my ride or die, Struppa. It's lonely at the top. The boots of oppression were made to be a pair. So please stay. If you leave Chapman, I will kill myself.

Tyrannically yours, for what is likely the very last time,
Tyrant Editor
(KQ Editor from 2023-2025)