From the Editor's Desk: August 2026

Whether you're a new student or mourning the loss of your hometown hookup, we at the Kumquat are here to welcome you back to this silly little campus we call home, now with 50% less tolerance for free speech! It’s true, the freshman dorm Kummings are on hiatus (thank your RA), and we’ve needed to go underground to protect our identities (common knowledge).

Our unpaid interns have been working tirelessly this summer to prepare the ultimate Kumquat experience! Visit TheKumquat.org for our articles every month, or join our free mailing list to have them hand-delivered! While you may not be seeing us on campus as much, rest assured that we are there… watching and waiting for our chance to destroy all that’s good in the world (publish satire news).

- Your Lovely Editors~