From the Editor's Desk: December 2024

Hello, sheeple. Tyrant Editor here, and it is a FANTASTIC DAY to be an evil, greedy, and power-corrupt overlord! I'm not going to lie when I say I was a little worried about this "democratic" election. The polls were close, and for a moment, I was concerned that all the evil things my contemporaries and I had said would actually be seen as evil, which they were. That all those evil statements that we made regularly, in public, with 100% candidacy and no attempt to hide our intentions whatsoever, would actually be seen by voters as evil and cause outrage, which they should of. I didn't think it was going to work, but miraculously, my pal Mr. T was right! You really CAN just say ANYTHING YOU WANT, and NONE of your supporters will care!

He set a pretty good example by stating his intent to imprison all political rivals, making explicit remarks about his disgust of specific races, and saying publically that he would be a dictator, etc. So I should follow suit, and try out this brainwashing for myself.

Alright, here I go: I AM A CHRIST-LOVING REPUBLICAN, AND I ORDER YOU, THE READER, TO KILL YOURSELF IN THE NAME OF PATRIOTISM.

I look forward to seeing the results of this little test! It will show me who truly follows my leadership.

Tyrannically yours,

Tyrant Editor.