Gadzooks! Jerry Price Falls for Nigerian Prince Scam.

Overnight, Chapman's 564 million dollar endowment was directly wire transferred to an unknown banking account in Lagos, Nigeria. All of the fucking money is gone. In his weekly email, aging uncle Jerry Price insists all is well, however stating "Nigerian Prince Jones Dimka emailed me an urgent business proposal, paving a way to revolutionize school spirit and increase university presence with a new cutting-edge cryptocurrency." The business proposal laid out a circular economy based on Panther Bucks, which Jerry Price verified was a good idea after talking to his grandson who is a little bit into Bitcoin. Price promises, "Trust me. This great and honorable prince means us no harm, and after the funds are transferred back to Chapman, a bust will be erected in his majesty's honor. And no, I don't know where the money is, but it's coming."

On an unrelated note, Chapman's treasurer has announced a baked goods sale will be held in the piazza on Friday to keep the lights on.