Hark! A Plague Of Ruin! (Transfer Students)

Ruin! Ruin! Chaos and fright! Hear thine words of the foreboding blight! When three moons pass, when interterm ends, wicked "transfer students" will come for bloodshed!

In Spring they shall sprout, and despite being new, they'll be better, and cooler, and hotter than you. Cunning as foxes yet bloodsucking as bats, they'll steal your spotlight when they appear in a flash. They'll be quirky and unique and all of your friends will say: what was it like for them to go to Michigan State? Then they'll talk and talk for hours on end—and the villanious "transfer student" will steal all of your friends!

Then these merciless fiends will come into class, acing the tests you've only managed to pass. Guess your major isn't that hard—it seems quite easy to them—despite the fact that this is their first time in STEM! You won't help but feel stupid and that your future is glum, when private school credits are bested by community college alums.

So hark this warning, and hark it well. Transfer students are coming, and they will bring hell. An inescapable fate, although time will tell: for you could always become a transfer student as well.