IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND BE A SUCCESSFUL STAND-UP? NO. HERE'S WHY:

Austin Debois, 23 — one of Silverlake's finest — comes forward to tell us about his roommate's most recent breakup success story:

"He was dating this chick for like three years or something, and I, like, never saw him. Then one night, he came home blackout drunk, crying, destroyed our apartment, and used my toothbrush. I remember thinking to myself, 'Wait, when did this guy get funny?'

He also put whipped cream in my hand while I was sleeping and tickled my face with a feather. I've never seen anyone do that. His brain, bro. Then he called my mom and told her I have a serious coke addiction. I had to go home for like a month.

MGK reposted a vlog we made, so now we're viral. He might even come to me and my roommate's comedy show."