Political Analysis: Candidates for Struppa's Replacement

As we all know, the most important election in American history is coming up, as Daniele Struppa has announced plans to step down from the Chapman Presidency. Here are our political analyst's top picks for likely successors:

Chapman Starbucks Manager

(PROS: business-savvy, CON: clinically depressed)

Pete Panther

(PRO: public figure, CON: pro-life)

Jerry Price

(PRO: experience running educational institutions CON: is not in Struppa's royal bloodline)

Evil Struppa

(PRO: Struppa's near-identical doppelganger, CON: evil)

Omelette Station guy at the Caf

(PRO: makes a mean omelet, CON: we'd be taking him away from his life purpose)

That piece of the Berlin Wall

(PROS: iconic, introspective, CON: ........ )

Your Resident Director

(PRO: Loves writing emails, prior experience overworking their staff CON: narc)

P-SAFE Director

(PRO: Haha, they are on Instagram now, so relatable! CON: Security State)