Undeclared Students Set to Host Horrible Rager

Rumors have it that the undeclared students are organizing something for the first time in their entire lives. Led by lazy as fuck, 27-year-old super-senior Derrick Don't-Know, who's attempting to "host the biggest freaking party ever."

"It's gonna be so fucking littt," says Derrick. "We're so chill but we lowkey get crazy. It's like gonna be underground and shit."

Despite being "lowkey crazy", however, Derrick has yet to declare the address, date, time, guest list, theme, or any decision at all regarding the party.

Nevertheless, Melanie Maybe, an undeclared incoming freshman, is so excited for her first "real" party, "Yeah it sounds sooo sick. I'll probably be there, but I'll have to circle back and check my calendar to see if anything comes up."

According to our certified Party Kum-Analyst, Mark, this party isn't going to happen. And maybe that's a good thing, since a group of a hundred or so losers with no drive, motivation, and nothing in common doesn't sound like a good time. So just take your chances with the frats, at the very least, they can all agree on hosting a terrible party.