Recent Chuduate Rapidly Approaching Psychotic Break

Jeff Defünke (Film Production ‘26) is two months post-grad, and he’s spent the majority of that time thinking about making avant-garde Minecraft Steve short films.

Before Jeff can explore the true cost of Minecraft Steve’s sandbox optimism, though, he’s committed to dismantling his own shadow self. Each night he takes a 50 mg edible, thinks about college, and conks out.

“He thinks everybody hates him,” said his roommate Wilson James (Creative Producing ‘26), unaware of Jeff’s nightly habits due to the fact that Jeff never leaves his room, “I mean, everybody does [hate him] – but I think we all do a pretty good job of hiding it.”

But Wilson’s hatred of Jeff peeks through occasionally, like when he dismissed Jeff’s critiques of the Odyssey, calling it a masterpiece despite secretly having problems with Nolan’s hamfisted use of flashback.

“Don’t publish that,” Wilson said, “Jeff is the only one who didn’t like the Odyssey because Jeff is a miserable fucking loser.”

“Well, every great artist goes through a depressive phase,” said Jeff, [on being a miserable fucking loser], “Of course I don’t have depression, not yet. But I’m getting there. I’m –”

And that’s where our interview ended, as his edible kicked in, projecting him into another night of thoughtless slumber.