Struppa Deports Himself to His Mansion in Solidarity with International Students

In a recent move to stand with Chapman's international students who fear their visas being revoked, Danielle C. Struppa has decided to deport himself to his mansion to "see what it's like to be from a place far, far away."

Struppa reportedly hired theater actors and former ICE agents to recreate a faithfully accurate deportation scenario. "It was so cool watching the officers kidnap me and put a bag over my head. I even asked for due process, and instead they called me a bunch of hurtful slurs!" said President Struppa, praising the realism of the simulation."It was eye-opening to see what the Abduls and the Amirs in this work-a-day life go through!"

Struppa described the experience of being alone in his million-dollar mansion as "harrowing," but urged that international students should find peace in being stripped away of their rights. "It's all a matter of perspective. Being deported can be awesome! I got a bunch of work done in the mansion library and even went for a swim in the indoor pool!"

After his experience, Struppa has decided to collaborate with ICE to work on a lottery based deportation program where randomly chosen students are deported to El Salvador, describing it as "A grand adventure to El Dorado where the deportees will have to find the lost treasure" and "have a chance to grow as people and make some new friends".