That First Shit Back: A Tale of A Girl and Her Poopie

Guys, TMI alert!!!! Seriously, don't say I didn't warn you. There is only one place in the entire world I can drop the Browns off, and that is the 1st floor bathrooms at Marion Knott studios. I have not shit in a year. The doctors say that at this point, my poop is taking over 85% of my body. So, when Dodge finally opened back up for classes, it was actually a lifesaver.

I walked in, and, UGH! That smell. Oh how I missed that cocktail of Pine Sol and piss. Finally, I sat down, and let out what could only be known as the dump of the century. 15 minutes of absolute molten lava coming out of my asshole. It was amazing. I lost 42 pounds.

Only one thing left to do. As I walked out of the stall (asshole still ablaze), I snapped a mirror pic, and posted it on my Close Friends story, captioned, "Things are finally getting back to normal." What many of my "close" friends didn't know is that now...not only is the world finally getting back to normal, but so are my bowel movements. Plus I'm really skinny now.