The "Chapman Boyfriend" Recipe

Ingredients

• 12 oz Bud Light
• Muscle tee that belongs in an incinerator
• Wispy upper lip hair
• Memorabilia of a high school varsity sport
• Underlying slightly negative attitude
• Chapman lanyard with car keys attached [likely drives a black Honda]
• Pinch of misogyny
• Dash of heavy cologne
• Sprinkle of sweat (from any part of the body perfusing odor)
• Optional: Black nail polish if you like that hint of indie (or you're in Dodge)

Steps

1. Preheat the oven and prepare to be underwhelmed.
2. Mix all ingredients together using any nicotine device. Fold, don't whisk.
3. Bake for 4 ½ minutes.
4. Expect the final product to be either slightly too short or slightly too tall.
5. Enjoy!