The Last Student of Color Standing...

Finally, it's time for me to leave. I know—I've been here for so long. You've seen me, my face on lamp posts, the website, everywhere. I tried to stay strong, so strong for you. To make you believe Panthers of Color exist. That we're valued students here. But here's the truth:

Boofus Struppus was paying me $500,000 to pose as one of those "woke students." And who says no to that? Obviously not me or Jerry Price (my gold digger queen). But something needs to change.

Yes, that was me—screaming from the back of the classroom, making everything about race, starting with "I know this isn't a common experience, but..." Ohhh, here comes the crocodile's tears. All fake. Always was. We, panthers of color? Imaginary. You really thought we'd sit through this? I can't even fake it anymore.

Chapman's "liberal school" image? FAKE. Our diversity score? FAKE. The encampment clout (hey, any news is good news)? FAKE. None of this is real. No actually person should be focused to shit through the agenda some Italian freak is pushing down my Outlook.

SO I'm out. Leaving the check behind and never coming back to this ugly little town. And honestly? My fellow POCs, you should too. Unless, of course...you're one of the international hires this year. Then yeah, good luck buddy. No way, you're getting out of this.