Thoughts on Dying Soon

Lowkey thank god. Like I love you guys so much and this was great fun but one more year at this glorified rich kid summer camp and I'll actually die for real.

I thought I'd be a little more sad to leave to be honest. With the people I've met here, I'm shocked some of you were able to write and even send in an application. Who am I to talk? I'm the editor of this stupid newspaper and have never had an article at the top of the front page. Maybe we're all mid as fuck. This is Chapman after all. I honestly believe Chapman won't be around in 25 years after spending hundreds of millions of dollars on increasingly less famous commencement speakers, but I know we will all outlive this glorified bank.

I love all of you mid ass bitches and I look forward to our post grad mid-off. I'm excited to see all of your incredible influencer Instagram reels or Chinese vertical dramas. We're small, but mighty. Silverlake will be ours. 100 billion dollars to Israel. Toodles!

– Stink Editor